Beasts of the Far East

One of our jets has a new paint job! Oohrah Lancers! Let's make history!
Our new Commanding Officer, LtCol "Homey" Cederholm with our 01 jet, aka "Indian Joe".

Psalm 121

when the twins emailed me and told me that Heidi had passed away, I was so heart broken! I had known and loved Heidi just as long as I had known and loved the twins; over half of my life! I've lost one of the greatest friends I could ever make, and I never got to say goodbye to her. I am at work and you you would not believe me if I told you, but I burst into tears when I read those emails! Right in front of God and everyone! Because I never got to tell her that I love her and will miss her. And I was not able to be there for the other part of my family (Anne, Lynne, Cindy, Dave and Alex) to comfort them because they NEEDED me! They new Heidi for way longer than I did! And the girls are my best friends!! They needed me! And I couldn't be there for them! Why can't I ever be there when ppl need me! ARRRR!! Sigh* I wish sometimes, I could just be 2 places at once!

In Loving Memory...

Today I learned some very devestating news.... my dog died. Even tho Heidi did not physically belong to me, she was a part of my life. Heidi taught me that all dogs were not the same; that they were not all evil creatures who will eat you at the drop of a hat. Heidi taught me to love dogs again. Jeez, Heidi just taught me another kind of love all together.... and she showed me how to be happy all the time. Heidi was the happiest of creatures no matter what.. if it was raining... if the sun was shining.... if the Twins and I went riding all day and didn't let her come, she still showered us with love and kisses when we returned - she never stayed upset with us. God showed His Love thru Heidi every day. That love was an absolutely unconditional all of the time thing. I never knew Heidi to be unhappy, even when she got sick. Her tail always thumped thru the floor whenever someone walked in. She didn't ever care if you were a stranger, she just knew you needed lovin too. And she gave it to you, with out question. Even thoses of us who probably didn't deserve it. She always gave you her all. Heidi was one of the greatest friends of my life. She was always so good to me... even when I didn't deserve it. I owe her so much, but I never got the chance to tell her. I never got to say goodbye to you Heidi. I just hope you can forgive me for leaving you, just like I've left everyone else. And I hope you are living in the Lord's house right now, keeping his feet warm. I know He has a special place for you right by His side. I can only hope, that one day when I get to Heaven, you will be there at the gates to greet me, tail wagging and that wonderful little smile on your face... May God Bless and Keep you Always, Heidi Girl....

Iwo Jima

Ok, why is the Blogger being stupid today?! It won't lemme post! Arg! Anyway! It will not ruin this post for me! Today some Marines from my squadron (including myself) went to visit Iwo Jima, the most sacred place for any Marine. This one, tiny, little island tells the story of all Marines; the stroies of heroism in the field - true courage under fire, of love for our Country, dedication to each other, and of the fight for survival that none but those who fought will ever understand. This place is a place to be cherished. As we walked toward Mount Suribachi, I thought of how many Marines before me had fought courageously and lost there lives on the ground that my feet now walked upon. Of the thousands whose blood was in that very earth. I could imagine, as I walked along, places that soldiers may have sat, where the enemy may have hid, or if this may have been a spot where someone saved another man's life. At one point, the group I was with stopped to observe the beach where, our SgtMjr informed us, the 4th and the 5th had landed, and it had taken us 15 minutes to get to where we were; it had taken the Marines back then 2 days to get that far. Wow.
Four of us (Cooper, myself, our Doc, and one of our Avionics Sergeants) actually climbed the side of the mountain, instead of taking the road all of the way to the top. It was not a cake walk, lemme tell ya! It was covered with vines, thick brush, rotten logs (that you didn't know were rotten until you fell through them!), and no place to grab if you started to fall! I could not imagine doing this 60+ years ago, with a full pack and war gear on, wearing s Kevlar helmet on my head, with a rifle in my hand, trying to climb that mountain. And under fire. There was no paved road then were you could take an alternante route.
Once we all got up to the top, I really couldn't believe my eyes (or the fact that I was THERE!) It was so beautiful! I was absolutely thrilled to be standing there. And very humbled. I can only imagine the joy it gave the Marines who were there for the original Raising of Our Colors, to finally be there, at the top, and enjoy the battle they had already won. I believe they knew that they had won at point. Even tho it wasn't over, they knew they had won. And the Japanese had been beaten. It was truely an honor to stand in the place where so few have stood.

Paint Brush - Anonymous Author

I keep my Paint Brush with me

wherever I may go,

In case I need to cover up

So the Real me doesn't show.

I'm so afraid to show you me,

Afraid of what you'll do-

that you might laugh or say mean things;

I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats

to show you the real, true me,

But I want you to try and understand,

I need you to accept what you see.

So if you'll be patient and close you eyes,

I'll strip off all of my coats real slow.

Please understand how much it hurts

To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off;

I feel naked, bare, and cold,

And if you still love ME with all that you see,

You are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my Paint Brush, though,

and hold it in my hand.

I want to keep it handy

In case somebody doesn't understand.

So, please protect me, my dear friend,

and thanks for loving me true,

But please let me keep my Paint Brush with me

Until I love the real me too.

New Friends

Whew!! What a weekend! Melissa and I went to Hiro to meet our awesome friend Aska, who is from Hiro and has wonderful english! :) She took us shoping at this shopping center called Diamond City! It was so much fun! :) And then we went over to Molly Malones, an Irish Pub in Hiro, and waited for a couple of our guy friends to show up. (Coop and I are trying to do some match making with Aska and our friend Jon!) :) Heehee, very very sneeky!
Anyways, so we ended up hanging out there well into the night and some other people we know came and joined our little get together as well. Do you ever notice that the more ppl you have, the better things are? Not always, but, if you're just hanging out, then hey, the more the merrier. :) So, we ended up talking and telling stories ( none of us have the exact same jobs) and just having a really good time! Well, we left Molly's and went to this other, smaller place, which was a little too crowded for me, so, I sat outside. I actually ended up having a really good conversation with one of the guys that was there with us. He kept me company and we chit chatted about stuff, like family histories, which, btw, he has a very interesting family history! :) And the conversation went from there into faith, church, friends, family, the Marine Corps..etc... But then we all had to get back, so, we had to post-pone our conversation until later. It was really nice to talk to someone and to make a new friend. :)
So, Coop's bday is next weekend. She will be 22. We are taking her out to Karaoke. :) It is going to be great! And hilarious! I will feel sorry for anyone around our room!

Changes

Wow! Its hard to tell how much you have really changed until you see it on a piece of paper! I went from the long hair and braces at the beginning of my Senior year of high school to a U.S. Marine in my second semester of my Senior year of high school! Can you believe it?! It's hard for me to believe sometimes! I went from wanting to go to Indiana Weslyan University to major in History and Religion, to working on F/A-18C Fighter jets as an Airframes Mech! It's so crazy once you look back on it all and see just how much you and everything you know and expected has changed in such a short amount of time. Sheez!

more pic!!!

This is one of my pix from Australia! I went on this "Night Croc" Tour and we got to touch/take pictures with this guys pet croc. It was neat. And here I am in my favorite piece of clothing! This is my knit over-sweater thingy and everyone else says it looks like grandma clothes! But I LOVE it! And it just means that I will be one totally cool grandma one of these days! :)

pic

And thanks to wonderful Lynnie, I now have some more pix to add to my Blog and I now have one for my profile! :) Yea! Thanks sweety! I really appreciate it! And Annie, thanks for yellin at the ppl who put in the junk mail comments!

Luck of the Irish!

:) Well SORRRRY! I do get pretty busy ya know! :) At work and only have time to drop y'all a line or two. :) no one loves me enough to read what I write anyway. :) lol...
ok - so whats new with me- well, this sunday I am going to church for the first time in a really, really long time. The last time I was in church, I was there to take pictures for a wedding! It has been a long time since I've voluntarily stepped foot inside a house of worship. I am afraid that I may burst into flames! When I pick up my Bible every field day to clean my dresser I feel like I am defiling it somehow! Ya know, I was talking to someone just the other day about how, no matter what the bad things were that you have done or how bad you think they are, God still loves you regardless and forgives you if only you ask! Hm.... isn't it so easy to give others advice and yet, it's so hard to take it? One of the reasons being, to you, whatever the bad things were that you had done, someone else may not see it as bad. Although to you, it feels like the end of the world. To each his own, ya know? And although I know it in my heart and my common sense tells me that the Lord will forgive me if only I ask Him (and mean it), it is just so hard to ask for it, because you know how very unworthy you are of it. It's like stabbing a great friend in the back with a giant butcher knife and then asking them to forgive you, knowing darn well that they will hug YOU to make YOU feel better! His mercy, garce and love are unimaginable sometimes! But you KNOW in your heart of hearts that He is there, waiting, just waiting for you to ask. The story in Matthew 14:22-33 (Jesus Walks on Water) is a great example of God waiting on us to ask for His help. Jesus knew Peter would start to waiver; He knew because we all waiver from time to time and lose focus and track of what we were doing, or where we were going. And He was waiting, just waiting on Peter to ask Him for help. And, as soon as Peter cried out, the Lord was there to help him back up, to show him that even tho he lost faith, He was still there, waiting to guide him back to safety. This is my favorite Biblical story. It got me through boot camp and I used this story every night to encourage the girls in my platoon, showing them that life is not impossible, and that the Lord is very forgiving, no matter what you have done. See? I KNOW the Lord forgives, and I have seen his grace and mercy personally, in my own life, but, for some reason, I can not seem to show myself this. I still feel like I don't even deserve to think to ask to be forgiven. Sure, maybe the things I think are horrible, someone else would think "you're upset over THAT?!?!", but, to me, it is bad enough. But, (Sigh*) the Lord does not put upon us anything that he does not believe that we cannot handle. So, why do I feel like if I look into the mirror, I will see right thru me? Because right now, I look into the mirror everyday, and I don't recognize who I see. I have painted on so many masks to hide behind and to put up a happy front for everyone else, that I just don't recognize the person I see anymore. I look at old pictures, of before, when I was at home, in the youth group, going to church like 4 times a week, when I was really living my life thru Christ, and I see this truely happy person. And I miss that person so badly I ache for her! The one who was going to go to IWU to study History and Religion! And I know, that, I will never again be that person. I have shaped, and changed. I may be stronger one day, but now, I just don't feel like I will ever reach that point again. And, I have come to the realization that, I can never ask someone to love, or even like me, if I do not love or like myself. Sigh* Guess it will be hard to make friends these days, huh? ;) And, I am honestly afraid to go to Church on Sunday. Becasue I am afraid to face what I have been trying to hide from. I don't want to face the things I've done. Because I know that when I step in there, my paint will peel off, and everyone will see right thru my facade. And then I will have to face myself, and, God. I don't want to feel that vulnerable around so many ppl I don't know. I don't want to feel vulnerable. But, we will see on sunday. I promised one of the Lt's that Cooper and I would go; we were s'posed to go last week, but never made it. Everything happens according to His plan, and in His time ( Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11).
BTW, did I ever tell you all that I am part Irish?! :) I just found out a few weeks ago! Actually at that wedding that I was tellingyou all about! ( I was the OFFICIAL Photographer! ) Woo Hoo! :) Haha.. it was really cool tho that he asked me. I was very honored. Well, at the dinner I got to talking to Chaplain Johnson, and he mentioned that Fail was Irish. So that weekend I was talking to the owner/manager at Molly Malones (who is from Ireland!) And he told me it derives from McPhail! And that the name probably got messed up at Ellis Island; someone may have written down Mac as a first name and Phail (or, Fail) as the last name. So, if anyone by chance has info on it, lemme know! :) Lol! Someone who is better at genealogy than I am! :)
Well,work is about over for the night (it's 0300, earliest night this week!) but I need to go home to field day my room! They inspect around 8! I need to get up early and get my nails done for the Marine Corps Ball coming up soon! and on Friday I'm going to get low-light done and get my hair chopped shorter! :) And get my stitches out! :) Ewwwww... :S So, muah! :) And until next time..
*Hebrews 11:1

Air Show, Miramar, CA

Here are some pictures from the Air show in Miramar, Ca -thanks Josh!