The Diary of a Mad Black Woman

When you really love someone, you can't just be their friend.~ Orlando to Helen

Ok, by a show of hands who has seen "Diary of a Mad Black Woman"? What a great movie and for those of you have never seen it, it is a must see! It just hit my Favorites Chart!

I think the reason that I love this movie so much is, because it pointed a few things out to me. The saying at the top of here, from Orlando to Helen, is one for example. Having faith and patience and compassion and compromise (and no compromise even!), and sticking to your guns even when you just want to raise cain! It's about enduring and trusting in the Lord when you just wanna give up on Fairytales and Love. When life seems to be trying to hurt You and missing everybody else, to never give up, because the Lord plans everything for a reason.

Sometimes, patience is a hard thing to have. Sometimes, you just want to grab your life away from God and run with it because you think that you can do it faster and better. But, if you want things to work out the way that they are s'posed to, then you must trust in the Lord to put things right, and to do things HIS way, in HIS time (Eccles 3:11). Because, weren't you the one who messed things up in the first place?....

My Birthday Today!!

I AM OFFICIALLY 21 TODAY! Yea!! Like I told mom at 0600 this morning, I feel no different that I did yesterday! =-) And since we have to work today and tomorrow, there is no telling how celebratin it will go! But, again, mom was right. When have I ever really celebrated a bday on the day it was actually on??
So, since I am at work, I am gonna get offa here and go take this KC-130 refueling basket over to the Fed EX guys so it can get sent back to it's Airforce Squadron in Illinois! Heehee!! Take a look a few pics back to see what I'm talking about! :-)
MUAH!!!
~*The Brithday Girl*~

The Day Before Tomorrow

It is the day before the big day!! Tomorrow is my Birthday!! I am so excited! Minus the fact that I have to work and then go into work on Saturday! Lol! But, it's ok, cuz, we'll be leavin to Australia this week! YES!!!

So, things with me are a little cloudy right now. Ya ever just feel like, maybe somewhere along the way of a happy road, you did something wrong, yet you can't quite put your finger on it?! Well, that's how I am feeling right about now. I'm getting in that lonely mood where I don't feel like talking to anyone and I start to push everyone away so I can be miserable by myself. =-S
I don't like these moods! But, I do know why I have them. Chaplain Johnson helped me to figure it out in Australia. Cuz, I could be just fine and dandy on minute and then not in the mood to interact with anyone. Apparently I am what's known as an Empath. An empath is someone who feeds off of what others feel. So, if I am arounf happy go lucky ppl, then I am at the heart of the group. But, if someone is sad, then I begin to feel sad. I'm not sure if it's sad for them or with them. But still, it's being sad.
So, when things go crazy around here with the craziness of packup, deployment, and ppl PCSing or EASing, it gets crazy with me!! I feel like I am being pulled in a hundred different directions!! It sucks sometimes, but, it also is great, because I think it helps me to understand ppl better. And, well, I am a ppl person! =-D To the core!
But, my feelings as of lately have less to do with everyone else and more to do with me. Like I said, I feel like I have messed up somewhere along the way and now I dunno what it was or how to set it right. And it is a frustrating feeling! Mostly because I can't lay my finger on the source! It's just one of those nagging feelings ya get, ya know?
Hmm, well, anyway, this is getting long and I need to get home before it gets too late and I just sleep and skip dinner! Sigh* long, sleepless nights here lately...

A Small Problem

ok!! So, today was a a little bit hectic! For those of you who can't tell, this is not exactly s'posed to happen. For those of you who do know...well... HAHA! This is pretty funny! But, I'm sure the pilot didn't think it was funny! He was new so, he has a little bit of an excuse, but, pray for him cuz, I'm sure he'll get a little heat from it!
Well, hope y'alls day goes better! Or, maybe one not so eventful!

Hello Everyone!!

HI EVERYONE!
Well, one week to Australia!! I can't wait!!! Warm, sunny, DRY heat! Yes! I'm gonna launch and final check and everything else, because....why?....it's Australia. :-) heehee!
So, the Typhoon missed us! Disappointing! Gosh! :-) We have only had one half good one in 2 years! Geez! And it was September of last year!
Work is work, as always. Right now we are all just b/s'n around the shop, tellin Boot Camp stories. :-) Ah... the memories. Lol, and of course, I am here, writing to all of you. Sometimes, I love being here, and doing what I do. But, other days... I just count the days until I get out. I love Japan, and I love being a Marine, but, I do not love the bullshit. Its the little, ridiculous things that wear me out. But, I am not going to sit here and complain to everybody. It doesn't really matter. :)
The SeaBees (Navy construction) are here remodeling our shop and our jets are all out flying, so, we really have nothing to do. We got the garage doors open so, a nice breeze is blowing thru the shop. The guys are sitting outside in the rain. Feels nice after all the hot, humid weather. It's almost this bad back in Marion this time of year, huh? I really can't remember!

I was going to say something... what was it...? Hmmm....

Oh ya! So, Marianne and I went to change the phone over into my name since she is leavingin 20 days (you suck Flitt!) but, the ppl at the phone place wouldn't let us change it over because, even tho my name is on the bill, it is not their "policy" to do that. They wanted her to turn it off and then me to turn it back on and pay the reconnection fee! Screw that! So, when I get back from Yuma in November, I'll only be able to call home every so often! Be prepared to use the email A LOT!!! Ok??

Well, my wonderful friends and family, I am gonna get offa here and go back to doing nothing. Somehow, doing nothing merits more brownie points than doing nothing on the computer. So, I love you all and can't WAIT to see you!
~*Jessie*~
p.s. my bday is in 3 days!!! Yea!! :-D

The Road I Travel Alone

There are some roads that some people must travel alone...

Gone, But Never Forgotten

I guess heartbreak comes in different forms. Sometimes, it appears in the form of people letting you down and breaking your heart. Other times, it is losing family or a close friend. That is what I am talking about today.

I called my mom before work this morning around 0615 to find out how Steph's first day of school went. Mom sounded upset when she answered the phone so I asked her what was wrong, figuring it to be the ususal business. She asked me if I was at home and if I was sitting down. My heart stopped as I said yes, I was at home and sat down. She said, we lost Boomer today. I was lost. I said Huh? Did you guys leave the back door open and he got out? She said No sweety, we lost him. Boomer died last night. I was numb. I couldn't register what she was saying. Boomer dead? Impossible!! This was the Wonder Dog! He could climb ladders that were standing straight up and jump chain link fences and do flips catching frisbees. no way he could be dead!!

But, unfortunately Boomer was sick, and like dogs do, he didn't complain about it. and nobody really knew until it was to late. Mom said she called him in around 11 pm and he wasn't looking good. Then, he just laid down and went to sleep and didn't wake up.

I cried. And I remembered....

I can still remember the first day Dad brought him home. We were living in the White house, out on Mayo Road. He was a beige puppy with over sized ears and feet way too big for him! :'-) I remember playing ball or frisbee with him on summer nights. And, I remember him and dad wrestling around on the floor, knocking over the lamps. I remember his reaction when we first brought Shadow home from the pet store. What will Shadow do?! That was her buddy, her playmate! She is only maybe a 1/4 his size, but, she can hold her own! And Steph!! She kisses that dog every morning before she goes anywhere and every night before bed. She reads to him, watches movies with him, plays school with him. Nobody has told her yet... And dad. It was his best friend. I am sure he is devestated. That dog was a part of him, his side kick who could speak to him with looks. How will dad get by without his guard dog?? Or, should I say lap dog! :'-) Boomer would hop right up into your lap as soon as you sat down! I don't think he ever realized just how big he was!!

Well, Boom boom, I never got to tell you good bye. I never expected that I had too. You were still a young pup to me with a long life left to live. i never though it would be you who would leave me so soon. :'-( But, know this, I will never forget you, and you will never be replaced. You will always hold a special place in my heart. And I will continue to tell stories of you until this mind of mine will no longer remember things. You will always be my Wonder Dog. I will see you when I come home....

Happy 21st Birthday Guys!!!!

Happy Birthday my Annie and Lynnie!!! Can you believe it?? You're OLD!!!! Haha!! It's ok, cuz I am gonna be old too! And we can go out and get margaritas when I come home next!! :-D
I really miss you guys!! I always thought that we'd turn 21 together!! Not 3,000 miles away from each other!!! :-( But, no matter how far away I am from you, the both of you live on in my heart everyday, bright lights that shine with me for the Lord and Savior. He puts us together for a reason all those years ago. And, Annie, even tho it was because you felt sorry for me at the time *lol*, in the end, I am glad for it. If not then, it may never have happened. You and Lynnie are my closest friends. We've been friends for over 1/2 of our lives. Without the two of you, I would have been lost a long time ago. I am so grateful for our friendship, I can't even begin to tell you!
So, when I get home, we are gonna go out, just us, for more than an hour! So, make time in those busy schedules of yours!! Tell the profs that JESSIE is in town, so, you will not be attending class for the day!!! ;-) They will understand.
I MISS YOU GUYS!!! AND I LOVE YOU!!! AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT, HAPPY 21st BDAY!!!!! I AM CELEBRATING WITH YOU IN MY HEART!!
Sister in Him,
Jessie

Happy Bday Step Monster!!!

HAPPY BDAY BETH!!! I miss and love you very much!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday with those wonderful brothers of mine!!
You are one of the strongest people I know! You are brave and strong and beautiful. And don't ever let anyone tell you any differently. I am always here for you, even if I am 3,000 miles away. I am only a phone call away. And i will be there in an instance. And i mean that. I am always here for you guys. and just cuz I'm the little Jessie that you remember, doesn't mean that I won't come whoop some ass for you!!! :-D
I love you very much! And I miss all of you! I can't wait to see y'all in January!!
love forever from far away!
Jessie

Greatness

BE NOT AFRAID OF GREATNESS. SOME ARE BORN GREAT; SOME ACHIEVE GREATNESS; AND SOME, HAVE GREATNESS THRUST UPON THEM.

My Butterfly

Butterfly Wishes

Yesterday a butterfly

Came floating gently through the sky.

He soared up through the atmosphere

Then drifted close enough to hear.

I said, "I'd love to fly with you

And sail around the way you do.

It looks like it would be such fun

To fly up toward the summer sun.

But I have not your graceful charm.

I haven't wings, just these two arms.

I've been designed to walk around.

My human feet must touch the ground.

Then magically he spoke to me

and told me what his wish would be.

He said, "What I'd love most to do

Is walk upon God's Earth with you,

To squish it's mud between my toes

Or touch my finger to my nose.

I'd love just once to walk around

With human feet to touch the ground,

But I have not two legs that swing,

I haven't arms, just these two wings."

And so we went our separate ways

In wonder and surprise.

For we'd both seen God's precious gifts

Through someone else's eyes.

~Author Unknown~

To My Little Butterfly,

I love you so much that I don't even have the words to tell you! But somehow, I know that you're little heart can know more than I could ever say. Just know that you are with me where ever I am; everywhere I go, and in everything that I do everyday. I see you in the clouds as they pass slowly by. In the trees as they gently blow in the breeze. In the stars at night as I pray for you. And in every butterfly that I see, I know that you are always there with me.

When you feel the wind blow softly across your face, that is my loving hands, guiding you thru your day. When you feels the rain drops, those are the tears I shed from missing you so much. When Nannie wraps her arms around you, those are really big hugs that she is sending from me to you, letting you know that I will be there soon to hold you tight. And when you tell me good-night by the stars at night, their bright and twinkling light are the kisses that I pass along to you, wishing you sweet dreams and hopes for a good tomorrow.

I love you, my little Angel, and I will always be there for you, even if it is only there in spirit and at heart. So, everytime that you see a butterfly pass you by, listen closley for the message that he brings. He will tell you that I love you and miss you and will see you soon. Be brave, be strong, and be good. We will be together soon, and this time I will never let you go.

Love you Forever,

Your Jessie

I Miss My Friend - Darryl Worley

So, life is going as always here in Japan!! 3 weeks and ounting till Austalia!! Then 2 1/2 till Yuma!! I can't wait!! And guess what??! Surprise I am taking leave while I am there! To just hang out and hopefully mom and buggy girl will getta drive out and see me!! Yea!! We will see! But, I am about to get offa the computer before I get kicked off! Muah to all!

"...I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend
I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright..."

Scuba!!!

Went diving this weekend!! It was soooo awesome!! We found and Octopus out on Oshima Island!! I names him Marvin! One day, I will have an Octopus and I will name him Marvin 2!! Lol! But, all is well here! I am now Advance Scuba certified for sure!! Now onto Rescue diver!!! I can't wait!! Oh?! Did I tell y'all I'm thinkin about changing my profession in life?? I wanna do underwater photography!! Yes!!
Gotta git! MUAH!!

p.s. please keep this in your prayers! Today is the anniversay of the Hiro bombing! :-(

Mo-Hawk

Well, things are going GREAT here!! Today went by kinda fast and I had my nose stuck in pubs all day, ordering stuff. But, all in all, it was a good day. My new guys are learning ( I like to think that I'm teaching!). I like to trouble shoot! ;-) "Um, Sir, ya.... your down..." heehee! >:-D anyways... Sorry I haven't called or emailed anybody from my myspace or hotmail!! Between work and the kids, I have no time to stop by and check it! I've only updated and posted the old drafts I had started over the last week because I happened to be on the computer all day! So, these won't all be too in depth, but, I will do what I can to keep y'all posted on what's new with me! But, right now, I have to go and Pick up Carter from Day Care! Oh! I have to tell y'all what I did to that kid's hair!! Lol! Let's just say multi-colored mo-hawk!!! :-P MUAH!

Rolling Along...

Well, life is rolling right along here in Japan... ya know what? I was driving back to the Dunphy's from work the other day, and I realized that I am reall going to miss Japan when I leave. I say that I can't wait to leave and stuff, but, in truth, if they told me I have to be ready to leave tomorrow, I'd be sad! Because Japan is so awesome! And the food! Oh! The FOOD! I am really going to miss that when I go home! And, well, I've learned growing up to make home where I live now . And right now I live here. I want to come back again someday, as a tourist maybe. Who knows? :-) But, I sure would like to come back...