James 1:19- 20

Listening and Doing
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

So, I have chosen this as my Bible verse of the week, and Hebrew as my chosen book of scipture, but, we will come back to that. Sigh* I am angry. Very Angry. But, angry to the point of exhaustion. I am seriously angry to the point of violence and tears every day by the same person and once I get home, I can't cry or hit anything and I feel just completly wiped out! Its this black sort of tired. Not like on a wonderful sunny saturday when you go out and have fun and just wear yourself out by enjoying yourself. No, this is the dreaded, comatose feeling you get when you know the second your day is going to suck. And for me, it is when this one guy in my shop walks in the door. And everyday, I try and be civil to him. I don't goad him, or even try to speak to him if I don't have to. But then he starts to make comments. Not just those ones that you can shrug off either. I really think he thinks them out before he gets to work. And I and sent into a speechless rage!
And he always has to be right (ALWAYS) and he has a story for every one of yours, only better. And he knows everything, even if he says he doesn't. He talks about my personal life like he knows something about it. Worse off, he is a total hypocrit. I hate saying that beacuse it makes me feel like one for judging him. And I guess I am judging him. He is childish, selfish, arrogant, "blameless", and he has absolutely no respect for anyone around him, no matter WHAT their rank! He just doesn't care. Ya know, at first, I wouldn't let him get to me. And that's what everyone else kept telling me. But, ya know, there is just a point when you suddenly realize that he has already gotten to you, in fact, he has imbedded himself under your skin and you have absolutely no idea of when or how it happened. Every time he opens his mouth, I just want to scream at him. Although, I remember that I can't just scream at him in front of everyone. I'd like to, believe me, I would. But, I know enough not to take my personal problems with him out on him at work. It is unprofessional, even if he does it to me. My mom always said two wrongs don't make a right. I'm just afraid that either a.) my anger is going to get the better of me one day and I will blow up on him in a most inconvinient time/place or b.) I will get to the point where I can't handle my stress at all and completely break down. I am having a hard enough time dealing with it right now. I am about to go to a Stress Management Seminar (don't laugh, I'm serious) because I don't know how to release stress. Some ppl say to PT. Well, that stresses me more than relaxing me! I have no family to hang out with to help me unwind. I am constantly with everyone I live and work with. No horses here to ride my stress away (like back at home!!). So, I dunno. I am usually not a stressful person. I am laid back and easy going. I've never really had to relieve stress like this before. And if I had some to relieve, I'd ride horses or take a drive.I can't do either here. I need to get outta here! Don't get me wrong; I LOVE JAPAN!! Japan is an AWESOME place! I would absolutely love to come back and visit one day!As a tourist! But, right now, I just need to leave. I dunno if I can wait three more months to go back to the states! Even if it is working 12 on 12 off! And Josh will be there! Hallelujah!! :-) Thank the Lord for small favors... :-D