Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!

Well, Happy New Year Everybody! :) It's almost 3am! I just got done babysitting! :) Can't talk long.... need to get ready to go snoboarding in 2 1/2 hours! :)
MUAH! Love you all! Be safe and have fun this year!
In Christ,
Jess
p.s. watch King Kong and The Chronicles of Narnia! They are EXCELLENT! :)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Pics From Annie!





Here are a few Pics that Annie sent me from Christmas time!! :) Merry christmas everybody!!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Squadron Christmas Party!





A little late, but here are some pictures from our squadron Christmas party on 18 December 2005, Sunday! :) From top to bottom (then the bottom!)...Airframes OIC Capt Ditto and Capt Szczepek's son.... me in the dorky sumo suits!! :) I could barely reach!..... the new mom's and babys in the Squadron!.... Santa visits the kids and he rode in on Lancer 01- Indian Joe! :)

Monday, December 12, 2005

Pics from Kadens Okinawa!




From top to bottom : Our Ordnance guys safeing the jet off the line...... a blurry night shadow of our jet!.... and Cpl Jessie Walker, from the Power Line shop, giving us the thumbs up for the trip home!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Kadena, Okinawa

Hey there everybody!! :) Well, sorry that it has been a few days (weeks) since I have written! :) Lol, I've been super busy and I have not really had too much time to get to a computer! :) BUT... here I am!!! :) Well, we are on Kadena Air Force base! Here in Japan (still!) but not on main land, it's on the Island of Okinawa. We are slated to go home within the week, so.. :) I'll get my phone hooked back up and call everyone! I PROMISE!!! :) And DON'T WORRY!!! I will get the other 3 boxes sent home to mom so everyone can sort them out! The bad thing is, they more than likely won't get there until after Christmas! But, the great thing about that is when these get there, you guys won't just be distracted by getting more presents. :) I love you guys, and I can't WAIT to see you all very soon!!! :) I MISS YOU GUYS!!
Well, I have also decided that I'm not gonna re-write that ENTIRE book on here. :) Lol, one because I don't have a lot of time as it is and two because my attention span does not last that long. :D Heehee....
MUAH!! Love you all much! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Please take this time to remember what is most important... being with family and close friends. Being with those you love is the most important thing in the universe. So, don't forget to let them know. I want my family to know that I love them more than anything or anyone else and I miss them more everyday that we are seperated. And to my little Stephanie... I know that I am far away and I am very sorry that I cannot be with you. I miss you more every moment that we are apart. But I want you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life. You mean more to me than anyone ever has. I know that you are special and that the Lord has blessed me very much by putting you in my life. So, the Lord has blessed me more that I deserve in my life. He gave me a wonderful, loving, and very supportive family who has been behind me thru every decision I have ever made and who has stood beside me thru all the good and the bad over the last couple of years. And for friends who have tried so hard to keep in touch with me when I was to the point of just blocking everyone else out. I know the twins have hunted me down for years, never letting me just slip away. They always pulled me back when I strayed too far away. :) And I thank the Lord everyday for them. But most of all, I thank the Lord for my little Angel. I don't know who I would be or where I would have ended up if it hadn't been for her in my life. Looking back, I am soo happy I became a mom at 15. The ppl I went to school with never had to work 2 jobs, go to school full time, babysit, do house work, pay bills, etc. That's what parents were for. But, I am SOOOO happy that I did get to do all of that. Because when I go out with friends on the weekends here, I realize that not being able to do the normal teenage stuff helped me to not do stupid stuff as an adult out on my own. I don't need to go out and drink until I can't remember what happened the next morning. I can go out and just hang out and I like knowng that I am the responsible one. And I have my mom to thank for that. She raised me to know that family is the most important thing and believe me, there were moments in those early years when I just wanted to be a "normal" kid and do "normal" kid stuff, not babysit or go to work all weekend. But, I see now why it was so important to help out family. Even when it means to make a few sacrifices. Although now, I don't see them as bad ones. I am soo happy for those weekends spent playing hide and seek and hours of Dora the Explorer or Scooby Doo. Because now that I am alone, those are the moments that I miss the most. I have pictures of her EVERYWHERE.... at home, at work, on me all the time... I talk about my little girl whenever I can. She is my baby, my pride and joy in life. And as my fifth Christmas with her, this is the first that I cannot be at home spending it with her or the rest of the family. And even tho I will be spending Christmas with friends that I am very thankful for as well, I know my heart and my thoughts will be spending Christmas at home with her. I miss her very much and I know that she misses me too. I am thankful for my loving family and greatest friends. But, I'm sure I have said this a few times. So, I'm gonna go now. Its 0230 and I need to get up in a few hours for a haircut. I'm sorry if my tangents never make sense! I always know what I wanna start out saying... but then.... I dunno, I just go on and on... :) I love you all and miss you all. :) Love from far away~ Jess

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I Kissed Dating Goodbye - By Joshua Harris


PART ONE: IS THERE A BETTER WAY?
CHAPTER ONE: SO THIS IS LOVE? : Beyond What Feels Good, Back to What IS Good

ok.... I fibbed! I don't have time to email my closest family and friends - how in the world am I gonna make the time to re-write a book on here?!? So, sorry everyone! :) But, I still do recommend that you read the book! It is really good!! :) Hugs, Kisses and Cookies!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Joshua 1:9


ok... well, for the last 3 weeks in church we have been discussing Exodus! :) And I have been reading Joshua! lol! Believe me, with the tapes we have been watching about the things that archeologists have dug up from biblical times, and reading the Word to follow along with it, itmakes for some great learning. (We've been readin Luke, too!)
Well, we are waiting to leave for Kadena! :) that's in Okinawa for my Geography illiterate friends! ;) (heehee). So.. not too much has happened since the last time that I wrote. I'm going to back track and put in soem pictures and stuff from a little town that I wen to with the church, which by the way is Grace Bible Church, ran by Wayne and Melody Hala and their two daughters, Annette and April. Please keep the church and its family in your prayers!
I have decided that I am going to start something on here. You see, I am reading this book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", by Joshua Harris. Now, I know the title makes it sound retchid! But, it's really not actually about dating. A little bit, but not really. It's mostly about putting the Lord first and foremost in your life. Dating can sometimes become a distraction from our relationship with God. And with societies twisted views these days on "romantic relationships", it has become easier and easier for Christians to step off the path God has intended for us and to step onto the beaten path of the world. So, I have decided that, as I read the book, I will write the book on here as well, so that anyone who wants to may follow along. I'm farther along now, but, I don't mind backtracking. Maybe I will pick up something that I missed the first time around. So, I will write the book on here and I will still keep up on my life and things happening here, and of course my own views on the book as well. Please, pitch in your own thoughts and feelings to me! From here on out, until the book is finished, everything in RED will be from the book. Any other color will be my own personal thoughts and ideas. :)
Well, I need to get off of here! I have sooo much to do! Sister in Him, I love you all! ~Jess

*PRAYER REQUESTS:
~For my brother, Robert. He is having some troubles being 17. :) I wish I could be there to talk to him and guide him along, but because I cannot be, please pray for him, and look out for him if you are near enough. He needs the Lord in his life right now more than ever before. And pray for a friend of his as well. She is my unspoken but she desperatly needs prayer and guidance.
~For Melissa. She is having a rough go of things right now. She is stuck between the Rock and the world right now. She is having trouble finding the Lord and what His mission is for her right now. Keep her in your prayers please. She is a wonderful woman who knows God, she has just wandered onto the beaten path, as we all have from time to time.
~For Tom. For his family who is having a tough time at the recent loss of his grandfather. It is always hard to lose someone you love. And it can be even harder if you are the only one who can show your family Christ and His wonderful gift of grace. The Lord Himself said that those closest to you would be the hardest ones to reach. Please keep them in your prayers.
~ For my family and friends back home. I love them all very much and the Lord showed me again just how very important family can be. And just how very easliy they can be taken from you. I thank the Lord for watching over my grandparents this week. A tornado missed their house and demolished the one next to them. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it could have been much worse. So, please keep my family and YOURS in your prayers. Family is all you have. Cherish them everyday that you can.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Tswano, Japan





WELL!!!!! Went with my new found church family to Tswano, Japan today! It was a BLAST!!!! First off, it rained thee ENTIRE time! Awesome! Well, we drove for two hours along the coast to reach this wonderful little town. We visited this temple and ancient ruins (insert angles singing here) and took tons of pictures! Between a few of us we had a hundred pictures at least! :) I hope to get everyones! And then we went to this paper factory they have in Tswano. Well, to edjumacate you all, there are 44 paper factories in Japan, 3 being National Treasures. And Tswano just happens to have one of those National Treasures. I believe that is because they make the paper there by hand. :) I LOVED IT!! And then we fed these Koi that were HUGE! They were longer and thicker around than my LEG! (if you can believe that!) THEN we went to this Church where they martyred Christians. A few of us hiked further up the mountain and walked the Stations of the Cross. It was a wonderful walk, especially with the rain there. I talked to the Lord the entire way. There was no one around to interrupt me and we had a wonderful little conversation going ;) Confessing to God in the rain..... it was like He was washing away every bad thing I was giving up to Him.... and I enjoyed every minute of that rain soaked day. I can't wait to go again, this time with a fully charged battery in my camera! :)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

230th Marine Corps Ball




OOOOOHHHRRRAAAHHH!!! Happy Birthday to all the Marines out there! Today we are now a year older, making all of us 230 years old! AR! To every Marine out there- young, old, gone from this world, sitting in a fighting hole covered in mud with enemy fire over their heads, and to those who remember having been there... Thank you Marine. And Happy Birthday to you, wherever you are.
Semper Fidelis Devil Dogs,
Jessica M. Fail
LCpl/USMC
VMFA-212 Lancers

Friday, November 04, 2005

Fried Green Tomatoes



:) Well, who remembers the story of Ruth? After her husband, brother-in-law, and father-in law died, she decided to travel back with her mother-in law, Naomi, to Naomi's home land, where the Lord was providing for Naomi's ppl. (Naomi was a widow, as well as Ruth's sister-in-law. Naomi changed her name to Mara, I think, which means bitterness,<> Don't quote me there). Well, Naomi told her 2 daughter-in-laws to go back and stay with their own ppl. Ruth was the only one of the 2 to refuse. She said to Naomi, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."
I will not ruin this wonderful story ( I urge you all to go and read it yourselves), I just wanted to make a comment on it.
Last night, Melissa and I watch the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" which is a WONDERFUL movie and I recommend everyone to watch it! Well, at one point in the movie, the woman, Ruth, wrote to her friend, Iggie, asking for help and sending this passage from the Bible with it. Ruth was in a bad situation and the only thing she knew to do, was to ask someone she loved and trusted to help her. It made me start to think (and not pay attention to the movie! I had to go back a few scenes!). When Ruth followed Naomi back, she did not know what was in store for her. She knew no one. She did not know the culture or what she would do once she arrived. All she knew was that by following Ruth, she was doing the right thing, whatever that may be. She trusted blindly. She went on faith. And in the end, she was rewarded by God. Does anyone know off hand the lineage of Jesus Christ? I believe that you will see Ruth's name there.
I'm not sure what this has to do with anything really. Only that I wanted to write about it. God never ceases to amaze me, I s'pose. His grace and mercy are more than we can ever imagine, and more than we will ever deserve. And no matter what we do, He still loves us and is willing to forgive us, if only we ask Him to. But, how do you ask Him to forgive you for something today when you know tomorrow, you will most likely have a repeat of today? Sigh* Talk about a parent with infinate patience! Shoot, If I were God, I would have stood me in a corner a LONG time ago!!! Oh ya I would have! I would be a permanant decoration!
Seriously tho, we need to remember that when we need help, or someone to talk to, we can always turn to the Lord. The only one with enough patience and wisdom to handle us all! Never be afraid to follow God, either. Even when it all seem absolutely impossible, it will work out. Because He is the Guide. All you have to do is follow. Sounds easy right? Try it. Its not all that easy. But what better than a challenge? Take that step over the deep end of the pool. You may find out that you know how to swim after all. Just be willing to trust in that which you cannot see, and listen for whispers in the wind. You may never get a straight answer on what you need to do and where you need to go. As long as you remember that God is guiding you. Take a Leap of Faith. Follow.
"...Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God..."

Thursday, November 03, 2005

"The Faith of a Friend

"hhey girl! how are you? oh my- your blog about heidi was amazing, and it totally made me cry! it's like you should be speaking at the funeral or something! girl you should write sermons and preach and be a pastor....well i mean, i am just saying, listen for your calling, because you never know if God could be calling you into the ministry and you are just missing it...I get to talk to people every day about their call in the minstry and how sometimes it's really clear and sometimes it's not so easy to understand. But you know God has called to a high purpose, living for Him....and that's pretty much all He asks...if you just live for Him and spend time with Him and get to know Him, then you WILL begin to fall in Love with Him and want to serve Him with everything you have! that is where I am right now....and you know what, you are not in a bubble like me, surrounded by 10 church services a week and TONS of on fire Christians and professors...etc....but YOU are in the mission field- YOU have COUNTLESS opportunities each day to show people Jesus and be a light in the dark and love people the way God loves them. You can make a difference in people's lives who might never have known Jesus otherwise...if two people had not taken the time to love me and show me Jesus, my life would never be the same, and yours either....just think about that....so anyway- sorry this is a weird email,girl. God has put you on my heart right now, and I love you so much and pray for you. You are amazing!!! :) write back.
-Sister in Christ,
-Lynne
"
Thanks Lynnie! :) Thank you so much for always believing that I can do anything! It's hard sometimes but I know what I can do anything with friends like you to back me up and to believe in me and with God on my side. Well, I need to go for now, I 'll get on later to let you all in on the Ball last night! :)
Semper Fidelis and Love in Him,
Jessie

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Beasts of the Far East



One of our jets has a new paint job! Oohrah Lancers! Let's make history!
Our new Commanding Officer, LtCol "Homey" Cederholm with our 01 jet, aka "Indian Joe".

Psalm 121


when the twins emailed me and told me that Heidi had passed away, I was so heart broken! I had known and loved Heidi just as long as I had known and loved the twins; over half of my life! I've lost one of the greatest friends I could ever make, and I never got to say goodbye to her. I am at work and you you would not believe me if I told you, but I burst into tears when I read those emails! Right in front of God and everyone! Because I never got to tell her that I love her and will miss her. And I was not able to be there for the other part of my family (Anne, Lynne, Cindy, Dave and Alex) to comfort them because they NEEDED me! They new Heidi for way longer than I did! And the girls are my best friends!! They needed me! And I couldn't be there for them! Why can't I ever be there when ppl need me! ARRRR!! Sigh* I wish sometimes, I could just be 2 places at once!

In Loving Memory...


Today I learned some very devestating news.... my dog died. Even tho Heidi did not physically belong to me, she was a part of my life. Heidi taught me that all dogs were not the same; that they were not all evil creatures who will eat you at the drop of a hat. Heidi taught me to love dogs again. Jeez, Heidi just taught me another kind of love all together.... and she showed me how to be happy all the time. Heidi was the happiest of creatures no matter what.. if it was raining... if the sun was shining.... if the Twins and I went riding all day and didn't let her come, she still showered us with love and kisses when we returned - she never stayed upset with us. God showed His Love thru Heidi every day. That love was an absolutely unconditional all of the time thing. I never knew Heidi to be unhappy, even when she got sick. Her tail always thumped thru the floor whenever someone walked in. She didn't ever care if you were a stranger, she just knew you needed lovin too. And she gave it to you, with out question. Even thoses of us who probably didn't deserve it. She always gave you her all. Heidi was one of the greatest friends of my life. She was always so good to me... even when I didn't deserve it. I owe her so much, but I never got the chance to tell her. I never got to say goodbye to you Heidi. I just hope you can forgive me for leaving you, just like I've left everyone else. And I hope you are living in the Lord's house right now, keeping his feet warm. I know He has a special place for you right by His side. I can only hope, that one day when I get to Heaven, you will be there at the gates to greet me, tail wagging and that wonderful little smile on your face... May God Bless and Keep you Always, Heidi Girl....

Friday, October 28, 2005

Iwo Jima









Ok, why is the Blogger being stupid today?! It won't lemme post! Arg! Anyway! It will not ruin this post for me! Today some Marines from my squadron (including myself) went to visit Iwo Jima, the most sacred place for any Marine. This one, tiny, little island tells the story of all Marines; the stroies of heroism in the field - true courage under fire, of love for our Country, dedication to each other, and of the fight for survival that none but those who fought will ever understand. This place is a place to be cherished. As we walked toward Mount Suribachi, I thought of how many Marines before me had fought courageously and lost there lives on the ground that my feet now walked upon. Of the thousands whose blood was in that very earth. I could imagine, as I walked along, places that soldiers may have sat, where the enemy may have hid, or if this may have been a spot where someone saved another man's life. At one point, the group I was with stopped to observe the beach where, our SgtMjr informed us, the 4th and the 5th had landed, and it had taken us 15 minutes to get to where we were; it had taken the Marines back then 2 days to get that far. Wow.
Four of us (Cooper, myself, our Doc, and one of our Avionics Sergeants) actually climbed the side of the mountain, instead of taking the road all of the way to the top. It was not a cake walk, lemme tell ya! It was covered with vines, thick brush, rotten logs (that you didn't know were rotten until you fell through them!), and no place to grab if you started to fall! I could not imagine doing this 60+ years ago, with a full pack and war gear on, wearing s Kevlar helmet on my head, with a rifle in my hand, trying to climb that mountain. And under fire. There was no paved road then were you could take an alternante route.
Once we all got up to the top, I really couldn't believe my eyes (or the fact that I was THERE!) It was so beautiful! I was absolutely thrilled to be standing there. And very humbled. I can only imagine the joy it gave the Marines who were there for the original Raising of Our Colors, to finally be there, at the top, and enjoy the battle they had already won. I believe they knew that they had won at point. Even tho it wasn't over, they knew they had won. And the Japanese had been beaten. It was truely an honor to stand in the place where so few have stood.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Paint Brush - Anonymous Author

I keep my Paint Brush with me
wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the Real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do-
that you might laugh or say mean things;
I'm afraid I might lose you.
I'd like to remove all my paint coats
to show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and close you eyes,
I'll strip off all of my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.
Now my coats are all stripped off;
I feel naked, bare, and cold,
And if you still love ME with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my Paint Brush, though,
and hold it in my hand.
I want to keep it handy
In case somebody doesn't understand.
So, please protect me, my dear friend,
and thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my Paint Brush with me
Until I love the real me too.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

New Friends




Whew!! What a weekend! Melissa and I went to Hiro to meet our awesome friend Aska, who is from Hiro and has wonderful english! :) She took us shoping at this shopping center called Diamond City! It was so much fun! :) And then we went over to Molly Malones, an Irish Pub in Hiro, and waited for a couple of our guy friends to show up. (Coop and I are trying to do some match making with Aska and our friend Jon!) :) Heehee, very very sneeky!
Anyways, so we ended up hanging out there well into the night and some other people we know came and joined our little get together as well. Do you ever notice that the more ppl you have, the better things are? Not always, but, if you're just hanging out, then hey, the more the merrier. :) So, we ended up talking and telling stories ( none of us have the exact same jobs) and just having a really good time! Well, we left Molly's and went to this other, smaller place, which was a little too crowded for me, so, I sat outside. I actually ended up having a really good conversation with one of the guys that was there with us. He kept me company and we chit chatted about stuff, like family histories, which, btw, he has a very interesting family history! :) And the conversation went from there into faith, church, friends, family, the Marine Corps..etc... But then we all had to get back, so, we had to post-pone our conversation until later. It was really nice to talk to someone and to make a new friend. :)
So, Coop's bday is next weekend. She will be 22. We are taking her out to Karaoke. :) It is going to be great! And hilarious! I will feel sorry for anyone around our room!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Changes







Wow! Its hard to tell how much you have really changed until you see it on a piece of paper! I went from the long hair and braces at the beginning of my Senior year of high school to a U.S. Marine in my second semester of my Senior year of high school! Can you believe it?! It's hard for me to believe sometimes! I went from wanting to go to Indiana Weslyan University to major in History and Religion, to working on F/A-18C Fighter jets as an Airframes Mech! It's so crazy once you look back on it all and see just how much you and everything you know and expected has changed in such a short amount of time. Sheez!

more pic!!!


This is one of my pix from Australia! I went on this "Night Croc" Tour and we got to touch/take pictures with this guys pet croc. It was neat. And here I am in my favorite piece of clothing! This is my knit over-sweater thingy and everyone else says it looks like grandma clothes! But I LOVE it! And it just means that I will be one totally cool grandma one of these days! :)

pic



And thanks to wonderful Lynnie, I now have some more pix to add to my Blog and I now have one for my profile! :) Yea! Thanks sweety! I really appreciate it! And Annie, thanks for yellin at the ppl who put in the junk mail comments!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Luck of the Irish!



:) Well SORRRRY! I do get pretty busy ya know! :) At work and only have time to drop y'all a line or two. :) no one loves me enough to read what I write anyway. :) lol...
ok - so whats new with me- well, this sunday I am going to church for the first time in a really, really long time. The last time I was in church, I was there to take pictures for a wedding! It has been a long time since I've voluntarily stepped foot inside a house of worship. I am afraid that I may burst into flames! When I pick up my Bible every field day to clean my dresser I feel like I am defiling it somehow! Ya know, I was talking to someone just the other day about how, no matter what the bad things were that you have done or how bad you think they are, God still loves you regardless and forgives you if only you ask! Hm.... isn't it so easy to give others advice and yet, it's so hard to take it? One of the reasons being, to you, whatever the bad things were that you had done, someone else may not see it as bad. Although to you, it feels like the end of the world. To each his own, ya know? And although I know it in my heart and my common sense tells me that the Lord will forgive me if only I ask Him (and mean it), it is just so hard to ask for it, because you know how very unworthy you are of it. It's like stabbing a great friend in the back with a giant butcher knife and then asking them to forgive you, knowing darn well that they will hug YOU to make YOU feel better! His mercy, garce and love are unimaginable sometimes! But you KNOW in your heart of hearts that He is there, waiting, just waiting for you to ask. The story in Matthew 14:22-33 (Jesus Walks on Water) is a great example of God waiting on us to ask for His help. Jesus knew Peter would start to waiver; He knew because we all waiver from time to time and lose focus and track of what we were doing, or where we were going. And He was waiting, just waiting on Peter to ask Him for help. And, as soon as Peter cried out, the Lord was there to help him back up, to show him that even tho he lost faith, He was still there, waiting to guide him back to safety. This is my favorite Biblical story. It got me through boot camp and I used this story every night to encourage the girls in my platoon, showing them that life is not impossible, and that the Lord is very forgiving, no matter what you have done. See? I KNOW the Lord forgives, and I have seen his grace and mercy personally, in my own life, but, for some reason, I can not seem to show myself this. I still feel like I don't even deserve to think to ask to be forgiven. Sure, maybe the things I think are horrible, someone else would think "you're upset over THAT?!?!", but, to me, it is bad enough. But, (Sigh*) the Lord does not put upon us anything that he does not believe that we cannot handle. So, why do I feel like if I look into the mirror, I will see right thru me? Because right now, I look into the mirror everyday, and I don't recognize who I see. I have painted on so many masks to hide behind and to put up a happy front for everyone else, that I just don't recognize the person I see anymore. I look at old pictures, of before, when I was at home, in the youth group, going to church like 4 times a week, when I was really living my life thru Christ, and I see this truely happy person. And I miss that person so badly I ache for her! The one who was going to go to IWU to study History and Religion! And I know, that, I will never again be that person. I have shaped, and changed. I may be stronger one day, but now, I just don't feel like I will ever reach that point again. And, I have come to the realization that, I can never ask someone to love, or even like me, if I do not love or like myself. Sigh* Guess it will be hard to make friends these days, huh? ;) And, I am honestly afraid to go to Church on Sunday. Becasue I am afraid to face what I have been trying to hide from. I don't want to face the things I've done. Because I know that when I step in there, my paint will peel off, and everyone will see right thru my facade. And then I will have to face myself, and, God. I don't want to feel that vulnerable around so many ppl I don't know. I don't want to feel vulnerable. But, we will see on sunday. I promised one of the Lt's that Cooper and I would go; we were s'posed to go last week, but never made it. Everything happens according to His plan, and in His time ( Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11).
BTW, did I ever tell you all that I am part Irish?! :) I just found out a few weeks ago! Actually at that wedding that I was tellingyou all about! ( I was the OFFICIAL Photographer! ) Woo Hoo! :) Haha.. it was really cool tho that he asked me. I was very honored. Well, at the dinner I got to talking to Chaplain Johnson, and he mentioned that Fail was Irish. So that weekend I was talking to the owner/manager at Molly Malones (who is from Ireland!) And he told me it derives from McPhail! And that the name probably got messed up at Ellis Island; someone may have written down Mac as a first name and Phail (or, Fail) as the last name. So, if anyone by chance has info on it, lemme know! :) Lol! Someone who is better at genealogy than I am! :)
Well,work is about over for the night (it's 0300, earliest night this week!) but I need to go home to field day my room! They inspect around 8! I need to get up early and get my nails done for the Marine Corps Ball coming up soon! and on Friday I'm going to get low-light done and get my hair chopped shorter! :) And get my stitches out! :) Ewwwww... :S So, muah! :) And until next time..
*Hebrews 11:1

Air Show, Miramar, CA






Here are some pictures from the Air show in Miramar, Ca -thanks Josh!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Hebrews 11:1




So many changes in my life right now, I'm not quite sure what to make of it all! Sometimes I feel so bogged down I find it really hard to breathe!!! I'm not one to just jump into things; I usually take my time making big decisions and roll with the punches. For the first time I can think of, I have jumped head first into something really big! And, I am very excited about it! But I am also very scared! Ah! Those two emotions should not be used in the same sentence! Or even the same paragraph! I just don't want to rush life and try to run into my future. I wanna take it one day at a time and be happy with every moment of it. Of course I'm happy, believe me, that's NOT the problem! :) I just want to make sure things work out right this time. Because they sure didn't seem to work out for the best the last time. :( And I think maybe that was my fault. Maybe I pushed to hard! Wanted to much, ya know? All I know is this - that I don't want to ruin things again. I think I've learned in the last couple of months that if something is ment to be, then it will be. And that I need to trust God and the plans he has for my life. It seems like every time I try to take my life and run with it, things just get all jacked up! So I need to just be patient and trust, which is really hard for me! I'm so used to just standing up and taking charge anymore! Its hard to sit back and let someone else take things and run with it. Its like letting my dog drive the car! Seems impossible, right? But if God said it was possible, would you trust Him? Enough to sit in that passenger seat w/o a seatbelt on and a blind fold covering your eyes? Without grabbing the " O no!" bars and sitting quietly with your hands folded in your lap? What's the difference here? Both are blind faith. So what do you do? Climb in beside the family pet? Or put the dog in the backseat and get behind the wheel? Just a little something to think on.
" ...i think too many times a couple tries to skip the stages of friendship and move straight into serious relationship without a good solid foundation....well i hope you're still close with God. I know it must be hard to be close with Him when you're not surrounded by strong Christians like I am, but remember that it's not about circumstances, it's about faith and being faithful to God no matter what or who is around. ANd it's so important to spend good quality time with Him daily and to never stop growing. If you're not growing closer, you're getting farther.....so tell me what is God doing in your life? How is He using you to witness? i think we should be urgent about our witness to nonChristians, urgent and bold. God has called us to live a life worthy of the gospel, no matter what happens..... and i pray that this will be the desire of your heart ..." ~Lynnie Oh Lynnie! You guys have never given up on me! Even through all of the really tough times! You, Annie, and Lizzy Girl have always been there! And even when you can't physically, I know you are in my heart always. even when we have our differences. :( I'm sorry I can't be there all of the time. I wish I could. So much has changed tho. And that makes me sad. And it hurts to the bottom of my soul. :( Because no matter what, we can never go back to those 9 year old little girls riding up to rummage sales on ponies bareback. Oh, how I wish we could...

I want everyone to know that I love and really miss y'all! :) I can't wait to see y'all very soon! For those of y'all who don't know I'll be home in March sometime! But don't nun y'all tell my baby Ima comin home! Its gonna be her bday surprise!!! So keep y'alls traps shut! ;) Lol! But I really do miss all of you! :) And I can't WAIT to see y'all! But I need to get going now! I GOTTA go and try to do my homework!!! :) Hugs Kisses and Cookies~ Your Jessie

p.s.~A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement. - Bo Bennett

Cherish your vision and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. -Napoleon Hill

"Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now,Thus much let me avow--You are not wrong who deemThat my days have been a dream;Yet if hope has flown awayIn a night, or in a day,In a vision, or in none,Is it therefore the less gone?All that we see or seemIs but a dream within a dream." -Edgar Allan Poe,

Monday, September 05, 2005

Nobody Knows it but Me - Patrck O'Leary


Nobody Knows it But Me

There's a place that I travel,
When I want to roam
And nobody knows it but me.

The roads don't go there,
And the signs stay home
And nobody knows it but me.

It's far, far away and way, way afar,
It's over the moon and the sea,
And wherever you are going,
That's wherever you are
And nobody knows it but me.

-Patrick O'Leary

47




I sure am glad that I am going for a B.S. in Biology! Because ppl who tend to go into sciences are usually chock full of questions! Like for instance, tho this is not quite a science question, per say (Spelling! At least we all know I'm not going to major in English! Thank God! ), it is still a good question to think on, non the less. Question : If a person says that they are sorry, do they really mean it? And how would you know? Because ppl don't usually spit out random things; normally the person has thought about it to themselves at one point or another. So the saying "ppl tend to say things they don't quite mean" must be inaccurate. When ppl get angry or upset (or drunk) they say things that they normally wouldn't say but yet it's something they have thought of. Now the question "is it regret or sorry" comes into play. So which is it? Are they the same thing or different? How can you tell? What seperates the two? Is it even possible to do so? Just wondering... My curiosity gets the best of me sometimes.... and by the way, Curiosity didn't kill the cat - it gave it nine lives :)

Do you know that the number 47 is everywhere in life? In your change, gas prices, on a clock, in part numbers, on license plates, room nubers, etc. But no matter where you go, you can usually see the number at least once a day. Melissa (Cooper as most of you know her as, or Shorty) has a theory that it has to do with a universal conspiracy - but I'll let her tell you about that! :) She tends to explain it better than I do. but, as for myself, I've came to the conclusion (sp?) that the #47 brings good luck with it every time I see it. Now, I only have 2 superstitions in life : 1.) How bad you are growing up, your kids will be 10x worse and 2.) You absolutly CANNOT turn the calender over until it has turned the first day of the next month <- my grandma told me that one! And my mamma told me the first! But, anyway, I usually don't believe in bad or good luck. but everytime I has seen this #, good things have always followed. Now, is that because in my mind I percieve it that way? That I believe that everytime I see this #, good things will follow, so they do? Do I just pick out the good things and kind of ignore the bad? What if I believed that it was bad luck and then everytime I saw it after that, would bad things follow? Or would it still be good luck if sometimes good things followed it and sometimes bad things folowed it? - Haha! Sorry, I know I can go off on my tangents sometimes! :)
Well, I need to get offa here and go back to my room because the wind is picking up outside from what I can hear! Just what I need! To get drenched AND blown away! :) Love you all very much!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

My Space






I have a long lost myspace account!! Yea! Add to me to y'alls list! Muah! Ciao!

Cowboy Up!


Talk about bad weather!! The typhoon is on its way in here so they're sayin! It's gettin pretty bad here! Wow! Well, got a few hours of sleep after I went to bed at 6 this morning. Woke up at like 11. Never do sleep very much. :( Arg! And I'm afraid it's gonna rain so I am debating "weather" or not I'm gonna go on a little walk once I leave here! ;) I think I might! A little rain never hurt anybody right?! :) Cowboy up!!
Well, I just wanted to say hey and I love everybody and in case it does get pretty nasty here and the power/communication gets cut off, I love all of you a lot and will call you as soon as I can! :) And to my little Angel-fly.. I love you more than air, and since we cannot live without air, you will always know that I cannot live without you! Love forever, Kisses ~ Jess