Orlando, Florida!!

we made it!! Unfortunately, we got lost thanks to some, um, "interesting" directions. Let's just say somebody got East and West mixed up.... >:-) heehee...
Oh my word!! It was sooo great to see everyone again! the boys have gotten huge!! Yet, it was almost as if we had never left at all! :-) And Ron and R.J. and Bryan are so great! I am sooo glad that they are part of the family now! And being Family means that I would kill for them, I hope they know that! :) Well, here are a few pix from Monday night when we got here!! :D
From Top to Bottom : Matt and Matt (my 7 year old brother and our 9 month old nephew); Ron and Matt( my new Step-Monster and baby Matt!); My new brother R.J. and Justice; Beth and Jen in the Kitchen; My Step- Monsters!!! Beth and Ron! I Love you guys! And will someone tell please tell Beth that being a Step-Monster is a GREAT THING!!! :-D

On our way Down South!

:- ) Well, here we are on our way down South to visit the family! :) First stop- Florida! We are going to go and see Beth and the Boys! We are gonna meet Beth's Hubby Ron and our 2 new brothers. R.J. and Bryan! We haven't seen Josh, Chris, and Matt in about 12 years! Wow! Has it really been that long?! Boy, I really am a horrible sister!! But I still can't wait to see them!! :) Here are some stops along the way! And believe me, it was nice to go from heat to A/C once we hit Georgia!! :- D We also plan to pop in and see Aunt Tammy while we are in Florida. Then, we are going up to Georgia to see Grandma and Grandpa Bickel! :) Then homeward bound! :- ) Muah!

Robert Dee Fail

This is my 17 year old brother, Robbie. He is a Junior at Marion High School. :-) He's really smart and great with hands on work. I just wish he could see what I see; the potential that he has. I still love him tho, even if he is hard headed like me. :-) Watch yourself, Rob. Remember what I told you about people. Family is always going to be there for you, even when everyone lets you down and goes on with their own lives. AndI will ALWAYS be there for you, even when I'm not there physically all of the time. you carry me in your heart, as I do you. Give me a holler if you ever need me and I will be there. I love you. ~ Sis
Here are some pictures of his '85 Monte Carlo, which will be really nice once he puts some time and effort and money into it. :) Also here is a picture of him with his g/f Amanda, and Stephanie Bug. Unfortunately, these are the only pictures of him that I have out of every picture that I took while I was home. He was too busy to see his sister home from Japan. And I dunno when I will see him next. But, I won't tell him how much that hurt. I'm gonna do the big-girl-Marine-thing and pretend it didn't hurt that he didn't want to spend time with me. I'm only family and he doesn't see the importance of family. I guess he's never been without them long enough to really know what he is missing. Maybe one day. May god watch over you in all that you do. Be Careful.

Brute, Boomer, and Shadow

Here are my dogs! Brute, mom's German Shepard/ Chow cross; Boomer Hipshire Striker (aka Boomer) Pop's German Shepard import; and Shadow, Stephanie's little Cocker Spaniel. :) Aww!!

My OTHER Babies ;-)

Well, here are a few of my OTHER babies ;-) At the top we have my 30-06 origional Savage and my winchester 30-30. Below that is my .357! :-) My Pop got me all of these guns! And I LOVE them! My 30-06 is my FAVORITE!!
Then we have my [>:-) heehee] 2001 Chevy Silverado 4x4, 2500 King cab, with a 4 inch lift and a Big Block under the hood! I LOVE THIS TRUCK!! This is what I drove while I was home! :) So nice! So much POWER! Oooooooohhhhh....... mmmmmmm....... :-D

A Day in Matter Park!

My little brother, Kevin, and I took Stephanie and my 2 nephews, Matthew (9 months) and Justice (3 years), to play at Matter Park, near our house in Marion! It was a nice, sunny day! Although it was a little chilly! :)

Happy Birthday Steph!!!

Here are a few pictures from Steph's Brithday party at the house! She was sooo surprised this morning at her class party when she opened her eyes and I was there! She was such a biggy girl and tried so hard not to cry! She sat on my lap for like, 2 hours in shock!! :) And her teacher, Ms. McDaniel was so great because she let me stay all day in her class! :) I LOVE being home! Its soooo great! Man I missed this! Happy birthday baby girl! I'm no pony, but I hope you had a great birthday surprise! I LOVE YOU!!! Hugs, Kisses and Cookies~ Jessie

Hawaii for Christmas?!?

Melissa is takin me home for Christmas!! Whoo hoo! Hawaii!!!! Tell me, is it beautiful?!
p.s. I am checking out on leave in 2 hours and 40 minutes. :-D YEEEEEE!!!!!!

*Prayer Request*

Hey everybody! :) This is gonna be my last posting before I go home! :) And this is a prayer request or, well, prayer requests I guess. :) Please pray for safe travel as I go from Osaka to DFW to Indy and then back. :)

• For my squadron, VMFA-212, as they are about to go on deployment and I will not be there with them! :) Please pray for their safe journey to and from and keep them warm over there!!! Keep them all in good health and good spirits! also, I pray for no injuries, mishaps, or liberty incidents. Let everything go smoothly and quickly so that they may come back home in a timely manner! Be with the maintainers as they keep the jets flying and be with the pilots as they go out on their missions. Keep the stress level to a minimum and keep morale high.
• For my family, both military and blood. Family is everything to me. Keep them all safe and happy. May God Bless them and watch over them thru there life journey. Life is never easy, bu the Lord will always be there to help you thru the tough times. He will never leave you nor forsake you, just don't forget to ask for His help. I think we sometimes forget to lay aside our pride and just ask for help when we need it most. Whether it is from a friend or the Big Man Himself, asking for help never hurts. Sometimes, we all need somebody to lean on.
• For all the men in my life. Starting with my brothers (all 9 of them) as they continue to grow into fine young men. Lord, please guide them, and give them positive influence through whom ever you see fit. Let them know that You are always with them, and that it is ok to ask for help. Show them the path that you have designed for them. Lead them along the right path. Help them to always know right from wrong. Pick them up when they are down. don't let their pride get in the way. Show them that there is always someone there who cares. And let them know that I love them. I am not the best sister in the world, by far!, but, I love them with all of my heart and would do ANYTHING for them. Let them know that I am here for them if they need someone to talk to, someone to miss, and someone to love them back. My brothers are the best men in my life, right along with my step dad, Jimmy, who has always been there for me. He had tough loving, but, he was always there for us to love. He was always an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. :) And I am glad to be his daughter. He is the best. And he knows me better than I do! And, he taught me how to shoot! :) I'm sure that he isn't all that glad that I can do it better than he can tho!! Lol! Father, please be with them all, and let them know that I love and pray for them everyday. And my Papaw as well. He always did tell me that I was the ugliest thing that he had ever seen :) Papaw taught me to look through the mean thing people said, to what they really ment. :) And he taught me how to take things for what they really were. His health is failing these last couple of years, so please watch over him. And let him know I love him and I hope I made him proud.
• For my mother, who is my bestest friend, who was my only friend for the first 8 years of my life. People tend to think that I exaggerate a little there, but I am being serious. I am ADHD and no one else could handle being around me. My mom had the principal on speed dial, and knew them all by first name because I was in trouble so much. But,she showed me how to calm down, and how to have a normal conversation with ppl. she showed me that I could still be me, but also be someone that everyone could handle being around. :) She has the patience that I someday pray that I will have. She showed me that helping others is more important than than doing things soley for yourself. She taught me that idol hands make idol time. She taught me to clean! :) Marine Corps field day?! Please!! Obviously they have never cleaned with my mother! And she taught me how to love. And that hugs cure anything. And that, sometimes, just being there without saying anything makes everything right in the world. That, just keeping you company can speak more than any words can. That, it is not good to go to bed angry, because you never know if you will be able to say "I love you" in the morning. That " I love you" are the 3 greatest words in any language in the world. She taught me that a kiss on any "booboo" from mom can cure better than a bandaid or stitches (and she has taken me in for those many times). And, she has shown me that no woman looks more beautiful than a mother at 3 am who had to wake up and run out the door in mismatched sweats and fuzzy slippers, w/o brushing her hair, so that she can rush her daughter to the emergency room because she is an idiot. :) And, believe me, she did that more often than you might think! :) My mother is my best friend. And I dunno what I would ever do without her. Please watch over her and keep her safe.
• For my Angel, Stephanie, who you gave to me early on in life. I honestly do not know how I would have gotten along without her in my life. She is the sunshine in the darkness. And I love her more than she could ever know. I have never loved anyone as much as I love her, and I doubt that I will ever love another as much. Please keep her safe. And may she grow up knowing you and help her to see that you are the Light, Lord. Show her your love and mercy and grace. Give her peace in life. And let her know I love her. She is my pride and joy in life; what keeps me going everyday. :) Please keep her safe.
• For my friend Kyna and her husband, Rafe. It is hard being far from your other half. But, I know that the Lord will see them through it. And for Kyna's brother, who is a Marine doing his second tour in Iraq. May the Lord keep and bless them all.
• For the Twins, Anne and Lynne, for always being there. I moved a LOT growing up, and thought a few times that I would never see them again. But, they never let me lose touch. Sometimes it would be a letter here and there, or a phone call, but they still found me. They never let me go. :) And I love them for always sticking it out with me. THey helped me find my way back to God very often. :) ( I tend to get lost by myself along the way...) But, they always help me find my way back again. And they show me that, I am not a horrible person for being lost, I am just human. :) Sometimes as a Marine, I forget that. I feel like I hafta be Super woman all of the time; that I hafta be strong so that my friends know that there is someone there to talk to. I forget that I don't have to be strong all of the time. That I have friends who I can lean on too. And they are always there for me, no matter what. I love them to pieces. Thank you for them Lord. They are a blessing in my life, and one that you have given me. I am so undeserving of friends like them. Thank You.
• For Lizzy and Melissa. Be with them as well. They are awesome women and wonderful friends. :) We've all been through some tough times together. Let us continue on our journey and always be there for each other. I pray that they always keep you #1 in their lives.
• To the Halas. They have been great! Bring them peace and happiness. Love them and keep them safe, Father. Bless them greatly; they are wonderful people, and great friends. Let them keep teaching your word and reaching out to others. They have a gift and they use it well. May they be a voice for your Word always.
• And for everyone else. Don't worry, I didn't forget anyone, I am just running outta room! :) I love you all and may the Lord Bless and keep you safe in all that you do!
• And last but not least, say a little prayer for me. For my health ( I seem to have had pnuemonia for the last 4 months... joy....) I plan to go to the doctors as soon as I hit the states, so please pray that that goes well. Also, I ask that you pray a prayer of Serenity for me. So that I may accept things that I cannot change. For courage to change things that I can. And, please, for wisdom, so that I may know the difference!

Thank you, Lord, for everything that you have given me. You have blessed me so much and I know that I am deserving of none of it. I hope that I may be a voice for you and that I may help others and show them your ways. May they see you through me - through my actions, my words, and my attitude. Help me to always be the phenominal woman that you have made me to be.

Everyone, take care, and may the Lord Bless you and keep you in all of your ways! I will see you in 30 days!

A Child of Christ the Lord,

Jess

Stephanie!

Well, only 5 more days until I go on leave and then the next morning I will be on my way back home to visit for 24 days! :) I can't wait! No one can tell Bug tho! It's her surprise and she doesn't know that I am coming! :D So, shhh!!
Well, here are a couple of pictures that Buggy Girls daddy, Trent, just sent to me! Isn't she soooo adorable! i cannot WAIT to go home and get more pix! I will have so many posted on her and on my my space! It will be unbelievable, let me tell you!!! :) And, if you haven't seen my myspace, then check it out! You can find me under my email address at jessielaughs@hotmail.com !!!!! :) Ok? Just go to "Search" and then search by email! ok?! :) See you all in a few days!

Nympheas - By Claude Monet

Well, it's that time again! :) To write everyone and say hello! :) Well, not too much is up with me, except that I am going to lose my mind soon!!! Ah!! :) 13 days, 13 Days, 13 DAYS!!! :-D I cannot WAIT!! Man!! The only thing that I am worried about is maybe getting lost in Dallas Fort Worth!! :) Lol! But hey, I can figure out how to get home from there!! Woo hoo!
So what is new with everyone?! I moved outta my old room and since my new roommate already has a phone, I had mine shut off! :) But, I will try to call over the weekend if I can manage it! :) Ok?! No promises tho! :)
Well, I go and buy my Shin ticket tomorrow! I am sooo excited! A Bullet Train to get from here (Iwakuni) to Osaka (where I am flying out of). :) Boy I can't wait! I am just counting down the days!
Well, there isn't too much to do here at work tonight! 2 of our pilots just got back from ACTI training. They both passed well above average, so congratulation to them!!! Well done Capt's Liberman and Szczepek! Your Lancer family stands behind you all the way!
Well, Ooh-rah, Semper Fi, and the Best of Luck to Everyone! I love and miss you all and will see you soon!! :)
Love forever from far, far away,
Jessie

Spiritual Warfare

"Ask and ye shall recieve; seek and ye shall find; knock and the door shall be opened to you. For he who asks, recieves; he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." ~ Luke 11:9-10

Say you had a family member show up in town, in the middle of the night. You needed blankets and pillows for them, but you had no extra. But your neighbor has extras and you know he would lend them to you if you asked. So, you, naturally hating to wake him up in the dead of night, knock on his door rather reluctantly. He asks who is there and you relpy that you need his help with the bedding for your unexpected guests. He replies that he is sleeping and if you would come back in the morning then he would be glad to help you. You pound more insistantly on his door now, saying you need his help now, not later. He grumbles, but, eventually he opens the door and helps you.
Never stop knocking because the door is not opened immediately. Keep banging loudly, and eventually your friend will get up and help you, if only to stop you from knocking. :)

Memoirs of a Geisha

For those of you who have not read "Memoirs of a Geisha," I highly recommend it! I can't wait to see the movie! If it is as great as the book, it will definately be in my movie collection! I couldn't really put it down! Talk about drama! Not sappy, makes you annoyed with it drama. But, a suspenseful type that keeps you reading and wondering and wanting to know more. Like Dan Brown books! Read it!!! :)

No Way Out - Phil Collins

Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone * But there's nothing I can say to change * the things I've done * Of all the things I hid from you * I cannot hide the shame * And I pray someone, something will come * to take away the pain * There's no way out of this dark place * No hope, no future * I know I can't be free * But I can't see another way * I can't face another day * Tell me where, did I go wrong * Everyone I loved, they're all gone * I'd do everything differently * but I can't turn back the time * There's no shelter from the storm * inside of me * There's no way out of this dark place * No hope, no future * I know I can't be free * But I can't see another way * I can't face another day * I can't believe the words I hear * It's like an answer to a prayer When I look around I see * This place, this time, this friend of mine * I know its hard but you found somehow * To look into your heart and * to forgive me now * You've given me the strength to see * just where my journey ends * You've given me the strength * to carry on * I see the path from this dark place * I see my future * Your forgiveness has set me free * On and I can see another way * I can face another day! * I see the path, I can see the path * I see the future * I see the path from this dark place * I see the future * I see the path, I can see the path * I see the future *

Look Through My Eyes - Phil Collins

There are things in life you'll learn and * In time you'll see * Cause out there somewhere * It's all waiting * If you keep believing * So don't run, don't hide * It will be all right * You'll see, trust me * I'll be there watching over you * Just take a look through my eyes * There's a better place * somewhere out there * Just take a look through my eyes * Everything changes * You'll be amazed what you'll find * If you look through my eyes * There will be times on this journey * All you'll see is darkness * Out there somewhere daylight finds you * If you keep believing * So don't run, don't hide * It will be all right * You'll see, trust me * I'll be there watching over you * Just take a look through my eyes * There's a better place * somewhere out there * Just take a look through my eyes * Everything changes * You'll be amazed what you'll find * If you look through my eyes * All the things that you can change * There's a meaning in everything * And you will find all you need * There's so much to understand * Just take a look through my eyes * There's a better place * somewhere out there * Just take a look through my eyes * Everything changes * You'll be amazed what you'll find * If you look through my eyes * Take a look through my eyes*

I'll Be Seeing You - Billie Holiday

Well, as I am sure you can guess by now, I am not in the greatest of moods. :( I'm sorry to show it. But, hey, honesty is the best policy, right? Do you know, that most of the time, when we are truely honest with other ppl, we end up hurting their feelings? Sigh*, well, I am a master at this as of lately. :S But, ya know what, growing up, my mother was never very good at beating around the bush or sugar coating things. She just said things as they were and the other person took it for what it was. A child will do the same thing when telling an adult the truth. They are brutally honest about it. And the truth really is a brutal thing. It is never really what you wanna hear. Most ppl expect for you to tell them what they want to hear in order to comfort them in some way. But, by just telling ppl what they want to hear, and not the truth, you are really doing them an injustice. You are giving them hope in something that can never be. But, I guess I am not one to talk, really. Sometimes, hoping in what we cannot have is what keeps us going sometimes. I hope for something that I know I will never have... sometimes with all of my heart. But, I know I am undeserving of this, so, I will never ask. It is trivial, really, I s'pose, in light of everything that goes on from day to day in our world. And, for another thing, I can't seem to keep from lying to myself. My mind will say one thing to my heart and my heart will say something completely opposite to my mind. And I tell myself that this is ok; that I am just "confused". But, I know better. Who knows you better than you? I just don't like to admit that I have a fear that is so great, and runs so deep, that it completely controls a part of me. I make myself believe it is ok. Because what is the best way to get rid of a problem? Solve it. But, in order to solve it, you need to confront it. And I am just not ready to do this. I try so hard to bury it from my mind so why in the world would I try and confront it?! Because, with a fear this great, confronting it usually means getting "outside help". And....well... sigh... I just am not ready to talk about it. So, I guess I am doing an injustice to myself by saying it will all be ok, but in truth, until I confront it, I never will truely be ok....

Well, if you are wondering why I am so grouchy, it probably has a little to do with fact that I am still at work and it is 3:30 am. :( {I have to be at a basketball game for one of the kids I babysit for at 0900. :) And then I babysit for The Read Family at 5 or so. Well, I guess I can getta litle nap in between, huh? :) } and it doesn't help that we just had 150+ Gallon fuel spill that we had to clean up. :( I was DRENCHED in fuel from swapping barrels in and out from the drain port! :S Jet fuel burns! Lol, oh well. at least we fixed it. :) So, I should really be more thankful. No one was hurt. And things could have been much worse than still being here. The worst that can happen is that we meet day crew and then go home and I shower and go straight to the game, no nap. :) But I've done more on less sleep! Like, SNOWBOARDING!! :) And horseback riding with the girls in the middle of the night when we were little girls! :) Shh! Don't tell!

I love everyone very much and miss you all to pieces! But, I hope to see you all very soon! :) You are in my prayers and dreams. Please keep me in yours as well. :) ~ Love forever, Jess

p.s. Happy Birthday Dad.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

" Behold, Arthur, young Knights. If you so choose, they may someday be yours to lead, just as your father before you."
"I'm to be their commander?!"
"Yes. But with this title comes a sacred responsibility; to protect. To defend. To value their lives above your own. Should they perish in battle, to live your life gloriously, in honor of their memory."
"And what of their free will?"
"It is always fallen to a few to sacrifice for the good of many. The world isn't a perfect place. But, perhaps people like you, Arthur, and me, and them, can make it so."
An excerpt from King Arthur between Arthur and Pelegus ( my spelling of the names may be just a little off!) :)
Kinda like us, huh? Taking charge of Marines brings the same responsibility. I just wish some ppl would take notice that this can also apply to other areas of life. If you are in charge of others, make sure to place them first. :)

Lucky*

:)WHEW!!!! It took me a while, but now it's DONE!! Lol! So you guys can go back and read all the stuff I went back and FINALLY finished or added pictures to! :-)
Well, things here in Iwakuni are going well! :) our squadron is doing better! :) No more trouble... keep your fingers crossed....
I really don't have much to say, just wanted to drop a line since it's not very often that I getta chance! :) And besides, I've been approved so, i will see you all very soon! :) Shhh, it's a secret! :) But it is not a big secret that I am the Luckiest woman on Earth. I have my beautiful Stephanie, who keeps me going every day. She is my pride and joy in life and I am so proud of her. she is the most advanced kid in her kindergarden class! And I am not just a proud mom being biased.... she goes to some first grade classes every day. :) She is a good girl and she will be a great leader some day. Just like my brothers. They are all smart as a whip. And I wish I could be there for all of them. When I go home I am taking a trip to Florida to see my awesome Step-monster and my 3 (5 now!) little brothers. I have been a really bad sister the last so many years. but yet, they still love me and are still willing to talk to me, so maybe there is a chance... :)
I need to get back to work now, but just because I haven't named everyone I know does not mean that all of you are not of equal importance to me. :) I love and miss everybody very much! And I am praying for you.
"The Lord is my Shepard... I shall not want...." ~ 23rd Psalm

Ruth 1:16

Whew! It's been awhile! Sorry about that! I have been really busy with all the work for some inspections that we have coming up! :) So I don't getta lotta time to get one here! Like right now, I will probably hafta re-save this ( I started this the other day. I dunno what date this will show up on my page) and then work on it later. We will see how long it will take. Today is Sunday, 29 January 2006. :) And I am at work! Yea! :) This week is our AMI Inspection. Our CGI Inspection will be here within the next couple of weeks, so please keep our squadron in your prayers. Especially now, with all that has happened lately, I ask for your prayers for everyone. Our squadron is on our way on our road of success, as our CO says, but right now we have ran into a few bumps in that road. :S
Well, I try to put pictures on here with all of my letters. :) I had to go back and update some, so.... :) I hope you guys like them!
I must go to work, so I am gonna post this now! I love you all and will talk to you soon!! Please keep us in your prayers!!!!
p.s. Happy Birthday Chris!!! :) I will be sending your stuff out very soon! :) Work is really busy! :) But I do love you! I didn't forget! :D

Me and Marriage... or Not

Hm. Well, I really dunno where to start with this one. Maybe the best way to start something is with the truth, no? I'm not too sure what to say really, and I'm not really sure how you all will take it either. Sigh*, I guess I need to make a little more sense, huh? Well, you are being warned right now that what you read, you may not understand. Shoot, I dunno if I even understand any of it myself. Sigh* but, this is the way the Lord works. We aren't s'posed to know why He does everything the way that He does. :S So, I apologize now for this not making any sense. :) Lol.
First things first. I'm never getting married. There I said it. I've finally got that out into the open! That has really been haunting me for a while. I can't really explain it too much more than that. Just trust in God and the plans that He has for me. He does everything for a reason and He obviously has a good reason for me. Now, I am not saying this is a permanant thing. But, as of right now, this is it. I have my reasons so please respect my wishes. Don't worry about me being gay either because I'm not. Someone asked me that the other day! Lol! I cracked up! Because I'm not sleeping with anyone (like every one else is) then they think that obviously this means that I am a lesbien! Lol! I just don't wanna date anyone here. I would not be fair to date anyway since I am never getting married. Sigh*, but seriously, this has really been eating at me, actually it's been eating away at me so much that I have been in a little void. Like everything around me is some black hole and I just exist in it. But then, the other night as we were towing jetsfrom the wash rack to the line, it hit me. Like being broadsided by a Mac truck. This light just came on in my dark little world. It was Hope. I'm not sure how to really descibe a feeling to you, but just take that for what it is. It was this strong sense of peace. And there was Serenity in it. I accepted what I couldn't change, I was filled with courage to go and change what I could, and God gave me a little wisdom to know the difference. ;) now, don't bet this will stay this way! :) But now, I know that I need to stop worrying about getting married, or never getting married. I am 20 years old. I have time. And right now, I just don't have the time. It would not be fair to date someone when I couldn't give them the time and attention they deserve. And since I am not sure of marraige at all, it also would not be fair to date someoneand steal their hopes for a future away from them. That would be selfish to take their time and attention when I don't deserve it. :) Sigh*. Now, don't take this as a bad sigh and don't try to gimme a pity party or to talk me outta it! It's not so bad once you get used to the idea! Besides, right now I need to think about gettin promoted, getting my Enlisted to Officer packages done and turned in, and the concentrating on school, OCS, and my future Marines. :) After all, my life is to serve others....

The above picture is one of my own from the first wedding shoot that I did in October 2005. :) The groom is Cpl Rehl and his wife is Keiko.